Restless Soul Syndrome

I want to outrun my body.
I feel trapped inside of an inescapable prism.
Like a caged tigress, I am pacing
Back and forth,
Back and forth,
Back and forth—
Desperate to get out.
To be free.
To feel the windiness of exhilaration once again.

I crave Everything,
But Nothing satisfies.

What is this Cycle of
Irrational fear,
Overreaction,
Sense of relief,
Conditional happiness,
Judge-mentality,
Extreme irritability,
Impatience,
Instantaneous Anger,
Deep sorrow,
and
Lonely
Restlessness,
Which possesses my being
And refuses to release me?

I am isolated.

From everything,
From everyone,
Even
From myself.

I crave Everything and Everyone,
But Nothing and No one satisfy.

I feel lost.
I do not know
Who or where
I am.
So I just
Am.

Is that OK?
I think so.
But still,
I feel crazy,
Unmotivated,
And unsatisfied.
This is not me.
At least not
The me
I once knew,
The me
I usually know.
Or is this me?
Another part me?
Do I have a multiple
Personality?
Maybe.
I don’t know.
I no longer know
How or where
To begin,
How or where
To go.

But I want my freedom.
And I want it now!
I am angry.
I am tired.
I am full of pent-up energy.
I want to act impulsively.
I want to run, run, run
Away.

But to where?
I don’t know.
Just away.

Yet within the frustration
Of this moment
Is where I must
And need
To stay.

There is no escape
From reality
Except
To accept.
To sit down,
To cease my pace,
To stand face-to-face
With myself.

For the truly
Free,
Must fully
Be.

Wow.
That’s cute
And easy to say.
But too difficult
For me to do—
At least for today.

Ahh!
Let me out!
Let me out.
Let me out.