My Inspiration

I guess this is poetry season.

Tonight I finally finished the thesis I've been working on all semester. It feels wonderful - in many ways - to finally be done. When I returned home from campus tonight, I turned my computer on for the first time in what must have been a long time, because when I opened Microsoft Word, a "recovered" file popped up (apparently my computer crashed while I was away). When I opened it, I was surprised to find a poem I'd written a couple weeks ago; I'd completely forgotten about it. I considered posting the poem on here, but decided that you - my readers - aren't quite ready for it yet (in reality, I am probably the one not yet ready to share). Then, however, I remembered this poem and decided to share it with you instead. It's really quite appropriate, for I wrote it a few weeks back when I was sitting in the library struggling with my thesis.

Do you ever remember the faces or actions of very random people, or am I just a bit strange? I have memories dating all the way back to my girlhood of total strangers who captured my attention and admiration for various reasons. Many of them showed me unexpected acts of kindness; others simply had a different and refreshing "sense" about them. I call them "everyday heroes," and maybe one day I'll write an entry just about them. In a way, this entry already is about them. But yet it's not, because it is instead about only one of them. This individual is a woman I met recently. Only, I didn't literally meet her, because I've only seen her picture. But something about the expression on her face makes me feel like I've known her for years; I can almost remember sharing laughter with her, and during certain moments I can even almost feel her arm around my shoulder. Am I totally crazy? It's possible, especially considering that I have only slept 6 out of the last 72 hours. But you be the judge. If you click on the title of this entry ("My Inspiration"), a youtube video will load; then scroll over to minute 1:32, and you will see the picture of the woman I am talking about. For some reason, ever since I saw her face, she has become My Inspiration for joy in the midst of every circumstance. Thus, when I was struggling with my thesis in the library, her memory inspired me to take a study break and create the poem below:


How is it that I do not even know your name,
And yet you are my inspiration?

As I sit here in this chair
Frustrated by my lack of concentration,
Your face, your story, your voice
Enter my mind.
And as I think of your situation -
Which has so often denied you
The power of choice,
Which has always so freely
Been given to me -

As I think of all this
For a moment,
I suddenly feel very lame.
For how can I complain?
The "hardships" of paper deadlines
To you I could never explain.
Yes, you also have deadlines,
But rather than for a letter grade
You work for bread and water
And to provide a future for your daughter -
And can only hope that eventually, one day
You will be paid.

One look at your determined face
Convinces me that if somehow,
Right now,
Our lives we could trade
So that you were in my place -
You would be thankful for the opportunity
- whether in sunshine or rain -
To choose, to write, to fight.
Because even now,
With each new day you rise
And work with what you've been given
Even if it's not what you'd like to envision,
Because you know it's the only way
To make your own livin'.

Like Delphine,
You would realize the privilege
Of my undeserved and rare position.
As a college-educated woman
I am a tiny minority
In a world history
Dominated by male superiority.

So - whether in sunshine or rain -
You would never view my task as boring,
Because you realize
Half way across the world,
And even right down the street,
There lives a woman
Who despite a life full of storming
Determines to never be beat,
Because she hopes and believes
That on the horizon
A new world history
A new reality
Of gender equality
For her and her daughters
May at last be forming.

Beautiful lady,
Your hardships
I may never conceive.
But I wish somehow, some way,
You could receive
These gifts of opportunity
Which bless my life each day.

No, I still don't know your name,
And maybe I never will.
But I wish I could,
And I feel I should.
For somewhere deep in my heart,
I feel you and I share a part
In the same long
Story and struggle of womanhood.

You have already blessed my life.
Your face, your smile, your voice;
Your unyielding and hopeful determination;
They - YOU - have become my inspiration.
So thank you for your life.
I hope one day
I can give back to you
What you have given me.

But for now,
Somehow,
In word, in thought, in deed,
Even through this "annoying" paper,
I will strive
To join my own voice
with yours.
I feel this will never meet your day-to-day need
For you have children to feed
Before you can even think about helping them read.
But I hope that somehow
Today,
Right now,
You can feel
That you are not alone.
That half way across the world
Or right down your street,
There sits a woman
Who will continue to strive
To keep the hope alive.

I am a woman.
So today,
with you,
I raise my voice
And wish for you the power of choice.
But with God's help,
I will do more than wish.
With your inspiration,
With the power of your determination,
Today, I wake up and work
For your right
To choose, to write, to fight.

Now I will finish this paper
With a smile and new motivation.
For I have come to the realization
That my efforts are not my own -
They are also yours.
To me you have shown
That what I do
Represents and affects
Not only me,
But also you.
So as I write,
I will fight
To make our situation known.
So that maybe
One day
Both our daughters
Will be able
To raise their voice,
To have their say,
And to demand their choice
Between more than one way.
For that access to opportunity
Is my hope for us today.